


The Group Project (SKIT SCRIPT)

by naughtyspinster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hufflepuff, Other, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, colorblind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 16:12:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16478768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naughtyspinster/pseuds/naughtyspinster
Summary: Everyone knows BILLY HATCHETT and everyone dreads doing group projects with him. LANA, NORMAN, DARCY and ADRIANA may all be from separate houses, but they can all agree that working with BILLY is going to be a nightmare. But when as they work with him, they realize that all of BILLY's weirdness might actually be more than they originally realized.





	The Group Project (SKIT SCRIPT)

Four Hogwarts students are sitting at a large round table in the library. One is a male Gryffindor named NORMAN VINCENT, one is a non-binary Hufflepuff named DARCY EMERSON, one is a female Ravenclaw named ADRIANA SHAW and the fourth is female Slytherin named LANA MAYER who is passing around their objectives for their group project. There’s a fifth chair that is empty.

LANA: (taking her seat) Well, while we wait for our last surprise group member, we can at least go over the itinerary of the project. 

A second male Gryffindor named BILLY HACKETT runs to the chair and plops down into the seat.

LANA: What - you - oh, no, please, not you.

BILLY: Hey, guys, sorry I’m late. What’d I miss?

Everyone stares at him, LANA in horror, NORMAN in complete embarrassment, ADRIANA in utter defeat and DARCY in resigned acceptance.

DARCY: *clears their throat* Well, we were just about to go over our itenary for the project, right, Lana?

LANA: R-Right… Right… Itenary.

ADRIANA: *muttering to herself* I’ve never failed a single class. Not a single one in five years. Five whole years…

NORMAN: Please, tell me you’re in the wrong library…

BILLY: Wait, there’s more than one library?

ADRIANA: *covers her face in her hands and softly sobs.*

DARCY: *rubs ADRIANA’s back affectionately* Billy, this is for Professor Woods’ Philosophy of Alchemy class. You’re sure this is where she told you to be?

BILLY: Sure am! *pulls out a screamer*

ALL FOUR: NO!! *they all clamp down on the screamer before it can open*

NORMAN: Billy, put that thing back where it came from or so help me…

BILLY: Okay, okay, geez. *puts screamer back into his pocket, then adjusts in his seat to get comfortable.* So, what’s this itinerary thing? Is that where you turn something into gold? Do we get to do that?

LANA: *as calmly as possible* No. This is the “Philosophy of Alchemy” class, the prerequisite for the actual alchemy course. This itinerary is the schedule of objectives we need to accomplish for this project. Which has nothing to do with actually performing alchemy.

BILLY: So when do we get to turn things into gold?

LANA: We’re don’t.

BILLY: Like, ever?

ADRIANA: This isn’t an applications project, Billy. What we discover in our research here can then be applied in an actual alchemical lab, but we won’t be actually doing the work.

BILLY: So, we won’t be turning things into gold?

LANA and ADRIANA: *flatly* No.

BILLY: Well, this project sucks.

DARCY: I think it will be fun! Think about it like a Quidditch play! Your team captain creates this play that looks great in theory, but when you actually get onto the field, you start to realize that the play has too many openings -

BILLY: Oh, like Gryffindor’s ludicrous display last night! Oh, what! Up top! *he holds his hand up to LANA for a high five and she backs away visibly confused*

NORMAN: Billy, what the hell, you’re a Gryffindor! We lost so many points because of that game!

BILLY: Uh, what? *scoffs* I am not a Gryffindor. *Tugs on his scarf* See these colors? Green and gold, baby. Slytherin for life! Up top! *he goes for another high five but LANA doesn’t know what to do*

NORMAN: Your scarf is RED and GOLD! Those are GRYFFINDOR colors! YOU’RE A GRYFFINDOR!!!

BILLY: Dude, no, I’m pretty sure I know my colors. And these are clearly GREEN and GOLD. *turns to LANA* What is with this guy?

ADRIANA: *fascinated* Holy crap, you’re color blind.

BILLY: You’re color blind

ADRIANA: No, no - this makes so much sense now! You think you’re Slytherin because you can’t tell greens and reds apart!

LANA: *starts to relax under the realization* Oh, my god, this is why the entirety of my house thinks you’re a raging moron.

NORMAN: How do you not know you’re a Gryffindor?! We’ve been sleeping a bed apart for five years! And Slytherin colors are GREEN and WHITE, not GREEN and GOLD!

BILLY: What? No way, I always thought that boys were green and gold and girls were green and white.

LANA: But there’s a ton of boy Slytherin here that are wearing GREEN and WHITE and that didn’t strike you as weird?

BILLY: It’s not my business if they’re boy or a girl. They want to wear green and white, that’s their business.

ADRIANA: That is the purest thing I have ever heard.

NORMAN: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT YOU’RE GRYFFINDOR??!! WE HAVE LIONS EVERYWHERE!!

BILLY: Man, have I really been a Gryffindor this whole time?

EVERYONE: YES!!!

BILLY: *slumps down in his chair* I had no idea.

ADRIANA: So, literally no one told you were color blind?

BILLY: No, not really. I mean, I should’ve figured it out when all of my points were going to Gryffindor. I just thought it was because Professor Corey didn’t like me. And why there seemed to be like no Gryffindor students for the past five years…

DARCY: *turns to NORMAN* You’ve slept in the bed next to him for five years and you never figured this out?

NORMAN: *flabbergasted* I thought he just didn’t like Quidditch and would purposely root for the wrong team! I never thought that he actually believed he was a Slytherin!

ADRIANA: Can I touch your face?

LANA: *slaps the table in front of ADRIANA* Stop touching people. That’s creepy. And you *pointing at NORMAN* will apologize to him for being a bad roommate. *she turns to BILLY* Billy, I am so sorry that neither I nor any of my housemates realized that you genuinely thought that you were one of us and instead decided to mock you behind your back -

DARCY: Lana! How could you?

BILLY: Wait, so you don’t like me? 

LANA: I like you now! I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. This is discrimination of the highest order!

DARCY: Discrimination!

LANA: I will not rest until this injustice has been corrected!

DARCY: Justice!

ADRIANA: Wait, maybe that’s what our project can be about! So, muggles have these special glasses that help colorblind people see colors correctly, right? What if we created a theoretical spell that would turn glass into color-correcting lenses for eyeglasses?!

LANA: *points at her triumphantly* I LOVE IT! All in favor?

EVERYONE: AYE!

LANA: *slaps her hand on the table twice* Then it’s settled! We’ll do our project with you, my beautiful, handsome Billy boy as our inspiration and test subject!

NORMAN: Wait, test subject? This is all theoretical. Right?

LANA: *shares a quick conspiratorial glance with ADRIANA* Sure.

DARCY: Oh! We can even work in contact lenses, too! And maybe even a line of colored color-correcting lenses and contacts that make your eyes look like moonbeams!

LANA: Excellent idea, Darcy. You can be in charge of researching the everyday benefits and fashionable applications to color-correcting lenses. Adriana will go into how the lenses could be made while I research practical applications. Norman, you can see what the disadvantages would be, since you’re always nitpicking everything to death anyway. *to this she earns a patented NORMAN VINCENT HEAD TILT of BITCH PLEASE* And Billy, you could do your portion of the project on demonstrating how this will benefit not just yourself but other color-blind wizards in their everyday tasks as well as the rest of their lives.

BILLY: Question - what if I don’t really feel - you know - disadvantaged by my color-blindness?

ADRIANA: You spent the last five years thinking you were a Slytherin, even though literally everything around you screamed Gryffindor.

LANA: And last week, in Potions, you nearly took out half of the class because you mixed up the green mandrake extract with the red rose extract.

NORMAN: Oh, and that time you got into a fight because someone took your red apple and put it into a pile of green apples and you couldn’t find it so you just punched them.

DARCY: Those are all good points, but I think we should listen to Billy about this. Up until now, he’s led a pretty normal life, despite the fact that he can’t tell certain colors apart. If he doesn’t think he’s disadvantaged by his color blindness, then who are we to tell him that he is? That’s us forcing our normalcy on him and that’s not fair.

LANA: *thinks for a moment* You’re right, Darcy. I’m sorry, Billy. I didn’t realize. How about instead you write about your experiences? Now that you know you’re colorblind, maybe journal about how you feel. How you don’t feel disadvantaged. Maybe, you and Norman can discuss more ways that these lenses wouldn’t be a benefit to you. But also keep in mind that there may be some instances that may require to you be able to see a full spectrum of color.

ADRIANA: Not that we can see a full spectrum anyway, just enough to determine important stuff, the Gryffindor house from the Slytherin house. Or the difference between highly volatile potion components. And apples.

LANA: How does that sound, Billy?

BILLY: Just write about my experiences with colorblindness?

LANA: Yes, that’s all you have to do.

BILLY: I guess that’s easy enough. Sure, I’ll do it!

LANA: Excellent! Does everyone else like their assignments?

EVERYONE: Aye!

LANA: Then our first study hall meeting is adjourned! We’ll meet again to tomorrow, same time and - Norman, are you okay? You look confused. Or nauseous.

DARCY: *gasps* Or confused AND nauseous!

NORMAN: *ignoring DARCY* It’s just - this entire school - there has to be a thousand people here and not a single one of them figured it out - not even the professors. We all just went about our business and just chalked it up to you being some kind of weirdo.

BILLY: I mean, it did feel pretty bad when none of the other Slytherins would sit with me, or whenever I would get picked for a class project everyone would get mad at me even though I did everything they wanted me to. I just - I spent the last five years thinking I was a Slytherin. It’s kind of hitting me harder than I thought.

DARCY: Well, now you have us. And we’ll make sure no one will ever *turns to LANA and NORMAN* make fun of you again.

BILLY: *gives them all a big grin* This is great, guys! I really appreciate you all looking out for me like this.

ADRIANA: I’m actually looking forward to the project now.

LANA: Well, I have to get to my next class, but by tomorrow I would like to see outlines for each one of your objectives.

BILLY: Wow, you don’t waste anytime.

LANA: This project is do in a week. It pays to be on top of things.

ADRIANA: Also, say goodbye to your girlfriend. You won’t be seeing her for awhile.

BILLY: Ew, no. Girls are gross. I’m gay AF.

NORMAN: YOU’RE GAY?!

BILLY: Wow, you really are a terrible roommate.

The credits roll. As the end, it’s a week later and DARCY, ADRIANA, NORMAN and BILLY are all sitting at the table waiting for LANA. DARCY and ADRIANA are playing wizard chess trying to ignore NORMAN and BILLY furiously making out in the chair next to them.

LANA: *running up the table waving a wad of papers. She slaps the table to get everyone’s attention* Professor Woods loved our theory and she wants to actually use it in her Alchemy Club! She says that she was so impressed that she wants us to actually join the club!

ADRIANA: That’s fantastic! I’ve been on the waiting list to get in that club since second year!

DARCY: Oh, my parents are going to be so proud! My mom’s favorite memories are from the Alchemy Club!

NORMAN: My brothers are going to be so jealous! I’ll send an owl with a picture of me inside the club hall!

BILLY: Wait, there’s an Alchemy Club?

**Author's Note:**

> NORMAN VINCENT, 16, is the youngest of three brothers, all with bright blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. Even though he's a Gryffindor, he doesn't care too much for competition or being outside as his pale skin burns easily but hates losing house points and will proudly cheer on their Quidditch team.
> 
> DARCY EMERSON, 15, likes their dark, shaggy hair but wished their dark brown eyes had more yellow in them. They've been out as non-binary since they were 12, and is often seen wearing bowties in their hair or kilts on sunny days, showing off as much of their tan, Half-Indian skin as possible.
> 
> ADRIANA SHAW, 16, is the first Wizard in her family to be sent to Hogwarts and not the African in wizarding school in Kenya, though she was given the choice. She wears her dark tight curls pulled back with an array of Ravenclaw colored scarves that she makes herself and sells to other Ravenclaw girls. 
> 
> LANA MAYER, 16, has straight black hair cut into a bob with the bangs bleached platinum and dyed green at the roots. Her Chinese ancestry inspired her to focus her studies on the Asian influences found throughout Western European magic circles, which has gained her a lot of favor in the eyes of her Professors.
> 
> BILLY HATCHETT, 17, isn't the brightest bulb in the drawer, but he tries. His brown hair is always unkempt, which gives him the appearance of a mad scientist more than a wizard. He's also colorblind, and for the last five years has believed without a single doubt that he's a Slytherin, and not a Gryffindor, which he actually is.


End file.
